My Mother's Daughters

SUMMARY
Sometimes scars cannot be seen.  Sometimes disease doesn't show.  Sometimes smiles hide tears.
My Mother's Daughters is a look at Evelynne and her family.  Evelynne suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).  Evelynne suffers: so does the rest of her family.  Mental illness is difficult to detect and even harder to live with.  The effects ripple through the lives of everyone it touches, but no one ever talks about it.  This is a story that gives a voice to all those who suffer from mental illness and those that suffer indirectly.  Mostly, it is for those children who don't have a voice; who spend their days living in fear.

SELECTED SCENES

THE MONSTERS IN MY CLOSET

Evelynne: There are monsters in my closet.  I can hear them gurgling and growling; they won’t let me sleep.  I can hear them night and day.  I’m scared to go near; they hear me coming and hide in wait.  When I open the door; they grab me and pull me inside.

I’m swarmed, swallowed, devoured.  They consume me whole; completely.  I cannot fight; freedom and resistance escape through the open door – the monsters alone with their prey.

Screams of pain and anger burst forth from the bowels of my being and sing in symphony with the monsters roars.  I feel myself being torn apart from all sides.  Claws digging deep into my skin.  Howls and shrieks surround me: deafening.

After they feed, the monsters retreat: waiting for the next time the hunger drives them to consume.

I am alone.

I look in the closet.

I can feel their eyes; silently watching.

Their eyes seeing: everything.

Small, little eyes – so wide.

Those eyes haunt my dreams...

Lights on children huddle in the corner of the closet

Daughter 1: We would hide in the closet whenever she was in one of her moods...

Daughter 2: We always prayed that maybe she would forget about us... Forget we were there.  It was an easier storm to weather if we were invisible.

Daughter 3: We knew it was a risk.  If found, we would have to explain why we were hiding.  Have you ever tried to tell a rabid dog why you are afraid of it?

To be caught was to be bitten.

RAGE (Choral piece, character assignments TBD)

There is a rage that burns inside me

I’m angry at my mother

I’m angry at the things she’s done and those she did not do

Even after she’s died

Even though she survives

There is a rage that burns inside me

I want to say she tried

I want to say she was there

When I cried

When I needed to hide

But the rage still burns and she feeds the fire

She gave me all her hopes

She gave me all her fears

She looks at me and sees life

For all those dreams

She left behind

A rage burns inside me as I look

For a life

That is entirely mine

I’m angry when my mother calls

I’m angry when she doesn’t

I’m angry at my mother

I’m angry if she’s not there when I need her

I’m angry when she is not perfect

There is a rage that burns inside me

A rage because I’m not free

Each time I look in the mirror

I rage when I see her in me