One of
the first things they said to us in theatre school was:
“If you
can do anything else, you will do anything else.”
This
little phrase has haunted and discouraged me for many years. I had always been a very good student and excelled
in a number of subject areas (in fact, English was consistently the worst grade
on my report card). Math, science and
business were always my strengths. When
I applied to university, I applied to the one theatre school I wanted to attend
with Economics and Commerce at U of T as my second choice. I didn’t have a third choice. I made it into the UTM/Sheridan College
acting program by the skin of my teeth (as I found out years later); I barely
passed my audition and got in pretty much on academic merit alone. There were always other things that I could
do, if you viewed it based on ability.
In fact, looking at ability, drama theory was probably at the lower end
of my achievement scale, but theatre and the arts still beckoned and I was
determined (like most first year theatre students) to prove that I wasn’t one
of those horrible statistics that would study it only to find a different
career path upon graduation.
Still,
at many times during my development, this sneaky statement would creep into the
back of my mind and fill me with doubt – should I do something else? Was I only fooling myself? For many years, I did actually pursue other
career paths, but none ever stuck for very long. I gave up the ghost on working in
theatre. I was scared; I didn’t want to
fail so I didn’t try. Oh, every once in
a while I would find myself stage managing a production, but it was always
secondary to whatever job I was doing at the time. Then, one day, my life imploded. I was left with a few boxes searching for a
new apartment, new career and new life.
I decided it was time to go back to my true love: theatre. I started pursuing a career as a stage
manager and suddenly the pieces of my life started falling into place.
It has
only been recently that I have gained a true understanding of what this statement
by our instructors was really warning us about.
It had nothing to do with the ability to do something else. I’m sure most people who choose this line of
work are capable of having exciting careers in other fields. The fear that had been eating away at me for
all these years was totally unfounded.
This was a warning about the sacrifice and demands that theatre puts on
its artists. It is not a career for the
faint of heart or weak of spirit.
To be a
working artist in the theatre, you must be willing to make sacrifices in all
areas in your life. You are constantly
looking for work. You have long,
unrelenting hours when you do get work.
You have no say over your schedule, which often results in missing:
birthdays, weddings, births, anniversaries, reunions and other important life
hallmarks. You live in constant
uncertainty about whether next year will be as good as this one because one
false step and doors may close and never open again. Often, you are required to pick up and travel
for long periods of time with people you’ve never met. There is very little control over your own
destiny (especially for the first 10-15 years while you are establishing
yourself). It is hard. It is very hard. And it is constantly hard. There are brief reprieves when you finally
land that one amazing contract that keeps you going for a few months or even a
year, but they will always end and if you haven’t been keeping focused on what’s
coming next, you will find yourself in a tough place when it is all over.
This is
what the quote is talking about. If you
can do something else, you will. There
is every reason under the sun to do something else. I will put up no argument on that front. I also believe that it is the same in all the
arts, not just theatre, but this is where my experience lies. I finally understand. There is no reason to pursue a career in this
field if there is something else in life that will make you happy. I stand as a firm supporter: if you can do
something else, please DO SOMETHING ELSE.
After
working only in theatre for a number of years now, I have had to make many of
these sacrifices. I have also found some
luck at many points and was narrowly able to squeak in some amazing special
moments and events, but likely not as many as I’ve missed. What I have found is that I cannot do anything
else; whether I have the ability or no.
For me, there is nothing else that makes me happy or fulfills me in the
way that working in theatre does. It
sucks when I have to miss a family event or a wedding of a friend or any of the
other number of things that I wish I was able to do with those I love. It really sucks when friends or lovers are
hurt because you haven’t had any time to spend with them for months because you
can barely remember the last time you had a moment to brush your teeth or make
your bed. It is lonely. It is tiring.
But most importantly for me, it is worth it.
Every
day, I go into work with like-minded people.
People who are interested in looking at the world in new ways. In analyzing what is happening and creating a
voice for a generation. People who walk
into a room of strangers and immediately see a team of friends. People who are willing to dedicate themselves
to a project and give their love, their time and even sometimes their blood. People who understand what it means to not be
able to do anything else. People who
have “the show must go on” running in their veins. It is incredible to have this as your daily
life. For me, there is nothing else that
can compare. As the years pass, I can’t
even comprehend doing anything else; not being part of this world. My brain no longer functions in any other
way.
I tried
to be that person that found another path, but all roads kept leading me back
to the theatre. It has not been without
its challenges. There is nothing easy to
this life. I have become one with the
feeling of constant doubt and uncertainty.
Always wondering where my next job will be (and I’m doing fairly
well). Looking at the huge gaps in my
calendar and worrying about whether something will come up to fill them. Looking at my bank account and hoping there
is enough to get me through the slow periods.
Watching my 9-5 friends make weekend plans, go up to cottages and
everything else people with regular schedules do for fun and rarely being able
to participate or continually being the “difficult one” to plan around. Working hours so long that you can feel each
minute passing in your bones and all you can do is keep focused on putting on
foot in front of the other or else you will pass out from exhaustion. This is just to name a few of the constant
fears and frustrations associated with being an artist in the theatre. Often I feel that people romanticize the job,
I know I did. It is hard to understand
the blood, sweat and tears that actually go into getting a show from planning
to performance. As a theatre student,
all I saw were the people in the beautiful costumes moving around in these
magical worlds that were created on the stage and I said “I want to be there”. I can’t lie.
I still do that. During most of
my pre-show checks, I will stand on stage and be filled with awe at how I’ve
come to this place and been given this opportunity, but it is with the awe of a
soldier on the field after a victorious battle; wrought with a sense of
appreciation and reverence for the cost of this victory, the sacrifice that was
made to make all this happen. Nothing
comes without its price.
For
those looking to start a career in theatre, be prepared. There is a true magic in it. There is wonder. But, like everything in life, there is a
balance and to have all the incredible experiences that are available in this
type of career, you must also be prepared to make concessions in other parts of
your life; big concessions. You won’t
always find understanding or sympathy when you need it. Many of the artists I know have put off
marriage and families until much later in life because you need to be flexible,
to travel, to work weird long hours at the drop of a hat in order to establish
yourself. And even when you’ve “made it”,
the work doesn’t stop. The hours don’t
get easier. The demands don’t lessen. You may get more used to it; you can
anticipate things more, but they don’t change.
I look back at my class as it was on that first day when our instructors
said “If you can do anything else, do it” and there are very few of us still
left working in the industry and only 2 or 3 (of 25) who can say it is their
only source of income (and this is 12 years later). Think about it. Give yourself the ability to have other
options. Try other things. Do anything else. And then, if you still can’t find happiness
after all that exploration, come back.
It is a gruelling and unrelenting industry, but there is no age limit on
when you can join. In fact, I would say
it is the least kind to the young. There
are few roles for people in their 20s and an abundance of bright-eyed
bushy-tailed graduates bursting for a chance to get one. If you say, “it’s something I want to do
while I’m young and when I want to start a family I’ll do something else”, just
go do something else. But if this is
truly the only thing for you, the only thing you can ever see yourself doing,
be prepared to work, then be prepared to work even harder, and then ever harder
than that. Never lose enthusiasm when
you don’t get a job, you won’t get most of them. Don’t whine; no one wants to hear it and
everyone else is in the same boat. You
are never too big or too good to do something (I have seen some of the most
successful actors in the country vacuum a rehearsal hall, pack their props away
and many other things that “aren’t their job”).
No one is more important than anyone else; we all have a job to do and
it takes all of us to get the show up.
Be nice to everyone; you never know when you will cross paths in the
future and which role each of you will be in.
Be grateful that you are getting paid, not entitled. Never lose your wonder of being part of it;
not many people get the opportunity – count yourself among the lucky ones! It is a hard, demanding world to work in, but
it is filled with some of the most amazing people you will ever meet and
opportunities that are beyond your wildest dreams, so appreciate every
moment. I know I wouldn’t trade it for
the world!
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